An interview with Dougal ‘Doog’ Walters

I caught up with the founder of The Walters in the side room at The Haystack over the weekend. I’d been sitting there waiting for him to show up for half an hour when I realised he’d been sitting a few tables away the whole time and I hadn’t noticed him.

SJM: Oh, sorry, are you Dougal Walters?

DW: Yeah, hi. You must be Steve.

SJM: That’s right. How’s it going. Can I call you Doog?

DW: Yeah sure.

SJM: Oh. OK. So, Doog, how’s it going?

DW: Pretty good.

SJM: Right. So, what can you tell me about your role in the Sidings Breakout? Or the Mayhem at Annie’s Yard?

DW: I honestly can’t remember, I really don’t know what you are talking about. I don’t think any of that stuff actually happened to me.

SJM: Well, OK, but Max – Cartwright, still with the Utter Gordons – says you were there. She says you charged down a Kildarean wizard with a rock.

DW: I guess that sounds like me, but I don’t remember. I want to talk about the band, actually.

SJM: Elfrida – that’s the priestess at the yard – says she as a theory that the more people change through destiny, the less they can remember. Apparently Smart can’t remember anything, either.

DW: I don’t know who Smart is. I’m not dumb, just because I can’t remember, and I don’t like being talked down to. When are we going to start talking about the band?

SJM: No-one’s saying you are dumb.

DW: You said you were going to buy me a drink.

SJM: Oh, so I did. Well, what will you have?

DW: Double MacAffes, cheers.

SJM: Um, it’s lunchtime…

DW: Do you want to do this interview or not?

SJM: I suppose. (I get the drinks). So, the band. How’s it going?

DW: I already told you. Pretty good.

SjM: Well, have you got any performances coming up.?

DW: For gods’ sake, why is everyone always hassling me about that? We’ve only just formed.

SLM: Right. So, how would you describe the sound?

DW: Kind of Big Beat, but bigger. It’s very percussive.

SJM: What’s the line-up?

DW: Me and Dave. He’s a percussionist.

SLM: So, just two percussionists?

DW: Well, we had a bass player but he’s got a lot of other commitments. I think we’ll be attracting new members pretty soon though.

SLM: What makes you say that?

DW: Look, get off my case, OK? I don’t want to do this any more. (Walks of with the double whiskey).